I have fears
And I ask for help to my God
Is it bearable to live with a man?
He doesn’t love you
He doesn’t dream a life with you
He is fine with or without you
He is just interested to test the destiny
He is longing for an answer: you and I are meant to be nothing
He is tired with you so…
He try the ultimate method to get rid off you
“Lets ask God about our destiny, lets try to get married, but without presumption that we are going to succeed. We just ask God but we don’t know the answer…”
So horrible fate you experience, I cry
Why did you act as if there is nothing in your heart? I protest.
Why did you act as if you are also fine with such game?
Why did you act as if you are ready for everything?
Why did you act as if you are not woman?
Why did you act like you don’t have the answer?
And I hear your fear that is now become mine…
“How could you become so selfish for a man you already open your heart to? How could you be so selfish that you think bad luck is more powerful than God’s Compassion?”
“How could I not fear of myself becoming selfish?”
“This is the only thing I possibly do… to join his game and try my best to win. The most important card is never in my hand but…”
“I believe, there will always times for the weakest to stand and survive.”
That is the only thing she is able to do.
She is in tears but she is strong.
She has fear but she is strong.
She is with an unreachable dream but she is strong.
She won’t win but she is strong.
And I look into my own heart
as the same fate is beating me.
I have fears.
And the biggest is to fail to be like her.
*A story before take a nap. Kayak manga… -_-